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Thursday 21 April 2011

Flying high on Wing Chun



All those times that I watched flight attendants rolling out safety instructions in the universal language of hand gestures, I should have seen it coming. Now, those gestures have evolved with menacing grace into an uncanny ability to tackle unruly passengers on flights. Hongkong Airlines have made it official by welcoming Wing Chun aboard their flights.
Even as the airline makes martial art training mandatory for new recruits, their flight attendants continue to be pretty. Only, now they will be pretty aggressive, too. Whether the move makes their flights safer or not, it sure makes it a lot reassuring for the hostesses. It seems, on average, the airline records three incidents of unruly passengers every week.
One can’t help wondering why take the trouble to turn airline aisles into close combat arenas. Wouldn’t it be much more subtle and unobtrusive to just serve the whims of the boorish and the boisterous with an extra drink spiked up with a strong sedative, which should take care of them throughout the rest of the journey? Unless the airline would want to add Chi Sao to the in-flight entertainment menu! Fastidious passengers unhappy with their 7-inch screens could now look forward to live entertainment in this graceful martial drill. Just wait for a co-passenger to ruffle up things a bit and there, you have “return of the dragon” playing in the gangways. The prospect of such a thing itself could soon make aisle seats sell hotter than the window ones. Why, long-haul flights could even offer parents of restive kids a chance to enrol them for Wing Chun lessons from the stewardess.
While the possibilities are many if one really wants to employ the lighter side of Wing Chun, this martial art popularised by Bruce Lee himself could come in handy when things get far out of hand. Reports say that it has already helped a petite hostess carry the weight of a sick and drunk guy twice her size. In extreme cases, Wing Chun could fly to her aid in lifting a rowdy ram and throwing him out the emergency window, with aplomb.
So careful with that extra drink you call for. And mind your language fellas, coz now those pretty airborne things can communicate their disapproval of your behaviour in clear terms, without any language barrier. Wing Chun is one language everyone understands.

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